Please, Don’t Ask People If They’re Expecting (Etc.)

When I first got married, I guess some part of me knew that the question would eventually come. I wasn’t sure when, or how, or who would ask it, but I knew, sooner or later, someone would ask if (or when) we were planning to have children. We did get a few questions right off the bat – literally, just days, maybe even hours, after the I-dos… “Are you guys thinking about kids?” “Do you guys want kids?”

I roll my eyes already. We’ve barely been married a few hours, or a few days, and already, the conversation has turned to our potential parenting at some point in the future.

I want to put it straight right here, before I go any further. It is absolutely, completely okay (and awesome) if people have children right after they get married, or soon after. It’s also awesome if they have children before they get married. It’s awesome if people choose to wait. It’s awesome if people choose to never have kids. It is completely up to the couple.

And that, my friends, is where we often run into a roadblock. Having a child is probably (I assume, since I’ve never done it) one of the most incredible things you can do. But it should be your decision — not anyone else’s.

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