Slowing Things Down

 Rush, rush, rush. Do this, do that. Check ten things off the to-do list only to add five more later. Oh, and I have to do that other thing, too. Why isn’t this finished yet? I’d better get that done real quick.

Does that sound familiar to you? It does to me. Life can sometimes seem like it’s all-go, no-stop. Sometimes it feels like there’s just no *time* to stop, or even slow down. When you’ve got a to-do list that’s half a mile long, and that never quite seems to get shorter, it can, quite frankly, be exhausting.

Well, a few weeks ago, my body told me to SLOW! DOWN! Or rather, the fact that I slipped on a huge patch of ice and fell, putting three small fractures in my right elbow, told me to slow down. After a trip to an immediate care facility, then an orthopedic doctor, plus x-rays and a CT scan and then *more* x-rays, my elbow should be healing nicely. I’m not in a cast, but I have to wear a sling most of the day.

Between this and losing my dad early in the year, I’ve really been forced to take a step back and slow down. I can’t do things the same way I could before I broke my elbow (on my dominant hand, of course). Writing is better now that I can take the sling off once in a while; same with typing. Cooking is a challenge, and quite frankly, my husband has been great in stepping up to help. Getting dressed isn’t too bad, but I still can’t zip most of my jackets over my sling.

For the first few days, it was definitely frustrating. I wanted to start dinner when I got home from work, then realized there’s no way I’d be able to one-handedly lift a hot pan out of the oven right now. I wanted to get some laundry done, but carting that down to the basement was a no-way, Jose. I wanted to wash my hair, but it took extra effort not to try to use my right arm.

I’ve slowed things down a bit, focused on just doing what I can, and taking it one day at a time. It’s helped, a lot. I’m no brain surgeon, and it’s okay if the laundry has to wait another day or two to get done. It’s okay if it takes me an extra hour to finish this piece I’m writing; my deadlines are mostly self-imposed anyway. It’s fine if it ends up taking me 3 months to read this book because I can’t focus on reading a lot of days. And I haven’t even touched my NaNoWriMo / novel project since last year, but I know it’ll be there when I’m ready to circle back to it.

What am I in a big rush for anyways?

Life is meant to be lived now, not in the ink on some never-ending to-do list.

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What Grief Looks Like

We’re 17 days into the calendar year, and I’ll be the first to admit: it’s been an awful one so far. I’d give almost anything to go back to the late days of 2017 – even the first few days of 2018. The days when my father was still alive.

This has all been incredibly unexpected, heartbreaking and difficult. I didn’t expect to lose my father, just days before his 60th birthday.

Isn’t it funny how we say that? We say we “lost” someone when they pass away, as if they can be found. As if they just wandered off in the grocery store and they’re three aisles down, looking at the macaroni and cheese when you’re in the bread aisle. Maybe some people would say we use that terminology because these people never truly leave us, that they’re always just around the corner, watching. I don’t know.

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Anxiety… and All Its Little Shards

I don’t know that I’ve ever written much about my anxiety on here, but I think now is the time to start. Honestly, living with anxiety is not easy. Sometimes it can manifest itself in ways that make it nearly impossible to get out of bed in the morning or to finish a simple task.

Other times, like some of the things I wanted to write about today, it manifests itself in small ways that are *just* enough to inconvenience you or make your day more complicated. Sometimes you don’t even realize how ridiculous these things can be, and sometimes you do, but you have to do them anyways. Because if you don’t, who knows what could happen?

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LUSH Product Reviews: Bath Bombs, Face Masks & More!

The LUSH Cosmetics store closest to my house recently reopened after renovations! This is great news for everyone (well, except my wallet, which will feel the pain.) Naturally, I had to stop by and check out the “new” store and pick up some more items as well!

I bought two items: a new bath bomb, “Lava Lamp,” which I’d never seen in the stores before; and “Mask of Magnaminty” face & body mask. I also picked up a sample of “No Drought,” LUSH’s dry shampoo. Here’s my quick review of these items!

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It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

If you’re looking for a sign, this is it. I’m telling you, right here, right now: it’s okay to not be okay. All too often nowadays, we feel this pressure to always be okay; to never feel down, never let ourselves feel ANYTHING; to always be cheerful and happy and upbeat. We feel pressure to always answer the question “How are you?” with “I’m fine/good/great/whatever” instead of the actual truth.

Starting today, allow yourself to truly feel whatever it is you’re feeling. It’s okay to be sad about losing a loved one, a friend moving away, a job change, finishing a good book, whatever. It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to be angry (as long as you aren’t physically hurting anyone.) It’s okay to be happy.

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