On Anniversaries & Milestones

As I sat down to write this post, I just now realized that tomorrow will mark 10 months since the unexpected death of my father. Ten whole months. It’s simultaneously been an incredibly long and also painfully quick ten months, and it’s hard to believe it’s already November.

That being said, I’ve been trying to equip myself with plenty of self-care tools because I know the next two months will bring a lot of anniversaries. A lot important dates, milestones.

  • Later this month, I turn 28. It will be my first birthday, in my entire life, without my Dad.
  • Thanksgiving, while not a holiday I’d typically celebrate with him, will be my first without Dad.
  • Christmas Eve – which will mark one year since the last time I saw my Dad alive. We went to his apartment last Christmas Eve and I spent three and a half hours putting together a TV stand that my sister and I bought him. Little did I know that would be the last time I would see him alive. I wish I’d taken more photos of him, of us, together.
  • Then Christmas, the first Christmas without Dad.
  • Then December 31, which I believe will mark a year since the last time I spoke to my Dad. I think I called him; I remember hearing that he’d left work early a few days prior because he supposedly wasn’t feeling well — so I called him, while at the arena, waiting for a game, and said (half-jokingly) “Should I be worried about you?” I’ll never forget his nonchalant attitude, his affirmation – “No, no, it was a misunderstanding, I’m fine.” Just a few days after that conversation, he died.
  • January 1. A new year, 2019. A calendar year in which my Dad has never, and will never, be alive.
  • January 4, which will mark the one-year anniversary of his death.
  • January 12, his birthday. He would’ve been 61. Also, the one-year anniversary of his funeral.

Also – no specific date, but hopefully very soon we’ll be able to finally close my dad’s estate.

I’m trying to prepare myself, as I know these days will not be easy. Maybe they won’t be as tough as I’m thinking, but I can’t know until I’ve reached them. So I’m trying to take care of myself and do what I need to get through the next few months. I’m actually heading to a “Grief and the Holidays” meeting/workshop this coming week that I hope will give me some skills/tools to deal with everything.

I just have to take it one day at a time.

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Checking In…

Yesterday marked since months since we lost my dad. (There I go again, using that cliched language). It has been a tough six months, the longest and yet the shortest. The time has flown, in a way. I can’t believe it’s been half a year. At the same time, it feels like so much has happened since then.

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My First thredUP Box!

Finally! Who else loves getting packages in the mail, even if you know exactly what’s coming? It’s so much fun. Today, my first thredUP box came!*

*(Technically it’s my second box – but the first one never showed up, unfortunately. USPS says it was delivered, but I never got it. After some trouble, I was finally able to contact thredUP customer service, mostly through Twitter, and they refunded me the full cost of my order including shipping!)

Under the cut to see what I got – and how much money I saved off retail prices!

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Two Months.

It’s been two months since my father passed away. The grief is still so fresh, in many ways, and stale in others. I keep finding new ways to miss him, new moments that come up in my day-to-day life that I wish I could share with him.

My father’s death pushed me to quickly consider things like the afterlife. It’s one thing to think about heaven in general; to think about what happens after someone dies. It’s another to lose a loved one suddenly, feel left behind, and wonder where they are now, where their spirit is. There have been moments where I say to myself “I wish Dad could see this.”

In my head, I know, or maybe hope, that he is seeing all of this. That he’s somewhere he isn’t feeling any more pain, that the hacking cough he had for years due to smoking is gone, that the aches in his varicose veins don’t trouble him anymore; that he’s watching us, and will see us as we grow over the years. That he’ll be proud of us, just as he was when he was still physically with us.

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Top 60+ Questions to Ask When Renting an Apartment

Almost three years ago, I made the jump from living with my mom to living on my own for the very first time. I was 24, and my now-husband and I moved into the very first apartment we ever looked at. Some three years later, we’re still in that apartment (and likely will be for some time) and we’re happy here!

That being said, I remember that sense of caution, that sense of the unknown, that came with moving into an apartment, especially moving from home for the first time. There are so many variables to consider, it’s hard to keep track of them all!

I’m by no means a veteran, but over the years, I’ve made a mental list of notes and thought I’d share some of my top questions that I think everyone should ask regarding a new apartment/condo/rental/whatever. Some of these are pretty basic, while others are a little more detailed – but you shouldn’t be afraid to ask ANY question! After all, this may be your new home for however long, and it’s important that you know everything you need to about it.

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