On Anniversaries & Milestones

As I sat down to write this post, I just now realized that tomorrow will mark 10 months since the unexpected death of my father. Ten whole months. It’s simultaneously been an incredibly long and also painfully quick ten months, and it’s hard to believe it’s already November.

That being said, I’ve been trying to equip myself with plenty of self-care tools because I know the next two months will bring a lot of anniversaries. A lot important dates, milestones.

  • Later this month, I turn 28. It will be my first birthday, in my entire life, without my Dad.
  • Thanksgiving, while not a holiday I’d typically celebrate with him, will be my first without Dad.
  • Christmas Eve – which will mark one year since the last time I saw my Dad alive. We went to his apartment last Christmas Eve and I spent three and a half hours putting together a TV stand that my sister and I bought him. Little did I know that would be the last time I would see him alive. I wish I’d taken more photos of him, of us, together.
  • Then Christmas, the first Christmas without Dad.
  • Then December 31, which I believe will mark a year since the last time I spoke to my Dad. I think I called him; I remember hearing that he’d left work early a few days prior because he supposedly wasn’t feeling well — so I called him, while at the arena, waiting for a game, and said (half-jokingly) “Should I be worried about you?” I’ll never forget his nonchalant attitude, his affirmation – “No, no, it was a misunderstanding, I’m fine.” Just a few days after that conversation, he died.
  • January 1. A new year, 2019. A calendar year in which my Dad has never, and will never, be alive.
  • January 4, which will mark the one-year anniversary of his death.
  • January 12, his birthday. He would’ve been 61. Also, the one-year anniversary of his funeral.

Also – no specific date, but hopefully very soon we’ll be able to finally close my dad’s estate.

I’m trying to prepare myself, as I know these days will not be easy. Maybe they won’t be as tough as I’m thinking, but I can’t know until I’ve reached them. So I’m trying to take care of myself and do what I need to get through the next few months. I’m actually heading to a “Grief and the Holidays” meeting/workshop this coming week that I hope will give me some skills/tools to deal with everything.

I just have to take it one day at a time.

My #Last90Days Challenge

We’ve entered the final quarter of the 2018 calendar year. Honestly? Wow. It’s mind-blowing me to how quickly this year has passed, and it undoubtedly has to do with the fact that just four days in, my father died unexpectedly. That threw my entire year, and life, for a loop and in some ways threw me totally off course.

I’ll be honest: the one thing I told myself I was going to do this year – keep writing my novel that I started in late 2017, and then work on seriously getting it published, even if only as an eBook – is the one thing I didn’t touch. At all. I completely abandoned the entire thing, and sometimes, I feel bad about it. I wish I hadn’t. It’s still there, sitting, waiting for me to rescue it, and at some point, maybe I will. But I’m just not there yet.

That being said, when I stumbled upon Rachel Hollis’ #Last90Days challenge, I was intrigued. The final three months of the year are a great time to set intentions for yourself, and with the way this year has gone, it’s time to get myself in order.

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Book Review: Girl, Wash Your Face

Rachel Hollis puts a fresh spin on the traditional “inspirational” book in her 2018 release, Girl, Wash Your Face. This book will kick your butt into gear and make you want to get up and DO SOMETHING about your life… without using a ton of cliches to get you there.

I’m going to be straightforward with you here: I’d never heard of Rachel Hollis until a month or two ago. I saw the trailer for her “Made For More” movie, and it certainly caught my eye. I looked into it, and her, and discovered she had a) an Instagram (so I followed) and b) a book. I had to request the book at the library and was on a waiting list, so it took me a bit to get it – but it was worth the wait!

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Book Review: Broad Band

Broad Band: The Untold Story of the Women Who Made the Internet is a fascinating telling about the history of the women who were truly responsible for making computers and the Internet what they are today.

Whether you’re interested in computers, engineering, the Internet and tech-savvy topics, or just a computer user; whether you’re a feminist (I hope so!) or not; this book is for you. It’s sad that I didn’t know much of this history prior to reading the book, but boy, am I glad I happened upon it on a shelf at the library and snagged it.

(And let me just say, that title! What a great play on words.)

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Copygirl: I Really Wanted to Like This Book

When I read the back of “Copygirl,” which calls the book a meeting of Mad Men and The Devil Wears Prada, I was excited to read it. I saw the book at a Barnes and Noble and the next day, picked it up at my library.

Not even a quarter through the book, though, I was disappointed. Kay is a female copygirl at an ad agency in NYC, which obviously comes with its ups and downs – but almost instantly, her story gets overwhelmed by the fact that she’s in love with her coworker.

Who she is good friends with and partners with often.
Oh, and she lets him live at her apartment?
But they’re not actually a thing, and he doesn’t know she’s in love with him.

Okay then. That, I guess I could deal with, even the cliches.

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