How many times in our lives are we defined based on things that are out of control? People define us based on our appearance or mannerisms, our hobbies or customs, or often, based on our relationships and connections with others.

How many times have you met someone and they’ve said “Oh, you’re so-and-so’s sister!” or “You’re her cousin, right?” or “You work with <<insert name here>>, don’t you?” or something along like those lines? And while those things may in fact be true, you may be a sister, a cousin, a fellow employee of…. someone, that’s not how you necessarily want to be defined or recognized.

It’s important that we define ourselves, to ourselves, before we try to define ourselves to others. It’s not easy; I doubt there are many people in the world who know exactly who they are in every single aspect of life, know exactly what they want in every area possible, and are 100 percent certain of every single thing. We’re all works in progress, but it’s important that we work on figuring ourselves out in the process. It’s a daily thing, taking a step at a time… figuring out who you are, what you like or don’t like, where your comfort levels lie and how they may change in different situations or with different people.

Here are some ways I could be defined y other people: I’m Jessica’s younger sister. I’m that girl who supports that specific hockey player that many people don’t necessarily like. I’m the one who writes this blog. I’m Tim’s cousin, so-and-so’s goddaughter, etc. etc. etc.

But I refuse to be defined by such small parameters. Who I am is so much bigger than anything anyone can define me as. Don’t let anyone put you in a box (metaphorically…. or physically, either, I suppose). I am not a box and there are more than four sides to me (yes, that’s a quote from Glee.) I discover new sides to myself all the time, discover I’m capable of things that I never dreamed about, and I grow a little bit every day.

I guess what I’m trying to say in the end is this. Don’t let anyone put you in a box or define you; don’t put yourself in a box, either. Don’t limit your opportunities or capabilities; you can do anything you want if you’re willing to put some work, time, etc. into it. It’s important to define yourself and not let others define you. YOU are in control of your life, and don’t you dare ever forget it.

Keep discovering yourself every day. You never know what you might find.