When I first got married, I guess some part of me knew that the question would eventually come. I wasn’t sure when, or how, or who would ask it, but I knew, sooner or later, someone would ask if (or when) we were planning to have children. We did get a few questions right off the bat – literally, just days, maybe even hours, after the I-dos… “Are you guys thinking about kids?” “Do you guys want kids?”
I roll my eyes already. We’ve barely been married a few hours, or a few days, and already, the conversation has turned to our potential parenting at some point in the future.
I want to put it straight right here, before I go any further. It is absolutely, completely okay (and awesome) if people have children right after they get married, or soon after. It’s also awesome if they have children before they get married. It’s awesome if people choose to wait. It’s awesome if people choose to never have kids. It is completely up to the couple.
And that, my friends, is where we often run into a roadblock. Having a child is probably (I assume, since I’ve never done it) one of the most incredible things you can do. But it should be your decision — not anyone else’s.
I’ll admit: for much of the past 25+ years that I’ve been on this planet, I haven’t always been the most conscious or passionate about social or political issues. And a large part of that was sheer lack of awareness, or lack of education.
It’s really only been lately that I’ve been diving more into the social & political world and becoming more energetic about and fueled about some of these related issues, from the issue of equal pay to the uproars about Planned Parenthood funding, from talk about issues involved non-cis-het people (a phrase which I had absolutely no idea what it was about a few years ago!) to feminism, racism, sexism, and the like.
I never spoke about these issues, even if some of them were in the back of my mind. But lately, all that’s changed, and a huge part of it is due to education on my part. I’ve become more educated about these issues, and with proper education, it’s helped open my eyes and make me more concerned about some of these things.
And a lot of the time, I do see people pop up on my Twitter feed or Facebook feed who have completely different viewpoints from myself. Some of them are clearly very religious-based and those people are absolutely entitled to their opinions, so long as they are not causing physical harm to others. But few things frustrate me more than seeing some of these viewpoints that are based in absolute bigotry, in false facts or just in sheer disrespect for other human beings.