Hey Ladies….

…. also known as, ‘the book that I despised 20 pages in, but forced myself to keep reading, and forced myself to finish, even though it was god-awful.’

When I stumbled upon the book “Hey Ladies!: The Story of 8 Best Friends, 1 Year, and Way, Way Too Many Emails,” by Michelle Markowitz & Caroline Moss, I thought – hey, this sounds like a pretty good read! Sounds fun, flirty, quick, and easy. Plus, as a 27-year-old woman, reading about fictitious women in their 20s and 30s would be great, right?

Instead, what I found in this book was just downright cringe-worthy. From the early onset, I found myself rolling my eyes and scoffing at so many unrealistic moments! (Spoilers ahead?)

I hoped, and expected, more out of this book. Instead, it was a mostly-unrealistic, very exaggerated ‘tale’ of NYC women. Okay, so I don’t live in NYC, but… I’m pretty sure the authors just took every possible horrible cliche, plus some extraordinarily unlikely happenstances, and threw them in this book.

First question: what in the world do these women do for jobs? I work full-time, pay rent/bills, buy food, go out once in a while, etc. But there’s no way in hell I’d be dropping $300 for a night out here, $500 for a dress here, over and over again. Yet… they can? Or at least, seem like they can?

Oh, and dropping major cash for a summer home rental? No problem. Last-minute weekend trip to South Portugal? Absolutely!

Their relationships with men are also cringe-worthy. One of them literally threatens to break up with her long-term boyfriend because he seemingly has to work on Valentine’s Day? Seriously? (They then actually get engaged instead.) The other’s relationships aren’t any better. While I’m all for doing what’s right for you, it’s just bad. At one point, there’s talk of a possible ‘accidental’ pregnancy in order to get a BF to stick around! Come on!

Also: do people really use Venmo that often? And buy things on behalf of their friends without their permission? And expect their friends to just… fork over the cash like it’s nothing?

Another point: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY EMAILS. Okay, I should’ve expected that based on the title, but why in God’s name are these women emailing each other SO. MUCH. Haven’t they heard of picking up the phone to call, or even just texting?!

Their personalities are also just so overblown, it’s unreadable. Jen is an overbearing, demanding bridezilla who thinks she *isn’t* one. Caitlin literally pumps her ‘better lifestyle brand’ every time she opens her mouth, pitching her friends to buy, buy, buy her stuff. (I could never be friends with someone like that! Come on!)

Nicole is unreliable with money, yet somehow gets some money and… starts her own business? And then wants to bribe her friends with shares of the company so she doesn’t have to pay them back for anything?

I mean, come on.

I get it – it’s mean to be humorous, and the style of writing a book through almost exclusively emails is unique! But I cringed much more than I laughed, and it’s sad, because I was really looking forward to this book and thought it would be a fun read. It’s absurd.

Can we get less books about toxic female friendships and more about strong women who lift each other up instead? Okay, thanks, bye.

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