Checking In…

Yesterday marked since months since we lost my dad. (There I go again, using that cliched language). It has been a tough six months, the longest and yet the shortest. The time has flown, in a way. I can’t believe it’s been half a year. At the same time, it feels like so much has happened since then.

The past six months have been filled with paperwork. Paperwork for funeral homes, cremation, changing addresses, filing insurances, paying bills, paying more bills, police paperwork, vehicle paperwork, lawyer paperwork. It seems never-ending, yet I know now, six months later, we’re reaching the end of the mountain of paperwork.

We held my dad’s inurnment a few weeks ago. It was a truly beautiful, touching ceremony, one I think was really deserving of my father. From my nephew singing a song from the movie ‘Coco’ to the musicians playing ‘Stairway to Heaven’ as we put my dad’s urn into his niche,.. it was wonderful, and I think dad would be proud.

I still find myself missing him, as I think is to be expected. I find myself wishing I could show him the parts of my life today, parts he’ll never know. I still think it is so strange that I’ll never hear his voice again in this life.

I’ve been reading a book called “Getting Back to Happy” by Marc and Angel, and came across two passages that really hit me, so I wanted to share them here:

“When someone you love suddenly dies, you don’t lose them all at once. You lose them gradually over weeks, months, and years—the way a person’s scent slowly fades from an old jacket they used to wear. Yes, death is perhaps the most painful life change.”

 

“And even though endings like these often seem ugly, they are necessary for beauty too—otherwise, it’s impossible to appreciate someone or something, because they are unlimited. Limits illuminate beauty, and death is the ultimate limit—a reminder that we need to be aware of this beautiful person, and appreciate this beautiful thing called life. Death is also a beginning, because while we have lost someone special, this ending, like the loss of any wonderful life situation, is a moment of
reinvention. Although deeply sad, their passing forces us to reinvent our lives,
and in this reinvention is an opportunity to experience beauty in new, unseen
ways and places. And finally, death is an opportunity to celebrate a person’s
life, and to be grateful for the beauty they showed us.”

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