30 Day Poetry Challenge: Day 27

Day 27- Begin with the title “The Poem I’d Never Write.” Then, write that poem.

The Poem I’d Never Write

Sometimes I can feel it coming on,
The pressure rising in my chest,
My heart beat racing, fast as a mouse,
Breathing slows and shallows,
My palms are sweaty, my stomach aches,
I am fully engulfed.

Where is my mind?
Lost at sea with no ship captain to be found.
This is crushing, debilitating, immobilizing,
I cannot think
Move
Breathe.

The thoughts passing through my head
Are filled with darkness,
Absolute darkness.
Thoughts of
Oh, perhaps I should dispose of myself,
But through which vessel, I am uncertain.
Oh, perhaps I am not worthy of those around,
And how to become so I am not aware.
Oh, perhaps this world should be better off without me,
My presence a burden to be destroyed.
Perhaps my mistakes have obliterated my chances
At anything good or wonderful in this life.
No blood shall be spilt tonight aside from in my thoughts,
But with time,
I shall recover from this
Panic attack.

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