The Biggest Risk I’ve Ever Taken….

Two years ago, I took the biggest risk of my life – and nothing has ever felt so right! In May 2015, I asked my then-boyfriend (now-husband) to marry me. It was awfully scary, but obviously – he said yes!

We’d been dating almost eight months. The way things were progressing, it felt right. We’d already talked about ‘forever,’ and we’d just signed a lease on our first apartment. Maybe part of it was that surreal, hopeful longing people in love have. But it felt right to me, so I went for it.

Relationships are all about what feels right for you and the other person involved. There’s no timeline I can point to that says “date for this long, engaged for this long, etc.”

Every relationship is unique, and it’s up to you & your partner to determine the course of action and what’s right for you and your journey together.

Just over seven months in, I knew I wanted to marry him. At some point, I thought about asking him… and then I thought, can I really do this? Hell, why should I have to wait for him to make the first move?

That’s part of why I’m writing this blog, two years later. When I thought of the idea, I asked around the Internet about it. Is it common/acceptable for a woman to ask a man? Today’s society is more modern and YES, it’s okay. But a lot of the relationship blogs I read were adamantly AGAINST a woman asking a man. They called it backward and said a man would feel emasculated. To hell with that. Any man who doesn’t support a strong woman making her own decisions and moves isn’t a man I’d want to marry anyway.

So I did it. In lieu of an engagement ring, I ordered a keychain off etsy with my handwriting engraved – “I love you, Ryan” is what it says. I didn’t have a specific plan or date I wanted to ask him up until probably a week before I did it. Again, it’s all about what feels right.

One Saturday morning, he drove the hour to my house, and I led him on a scavenger hunt around the Buffalo area, through handwritten notes. Our hunt took us to places that meant something to us: where we had our first date (a hockey rink) & the restaurant we visited that night; Canalside, one of our favorite places to visit, and a few other spots, ending at HARBORCENTER in downtown Buffalo, the hockey rink where we both work. It was there we sat in the stands and I asked him. I distinctly remember sitting down in one spot and getting annoyed by these kids running around screaming, so much that I made us get up and move. (It was an empty rink.)

The funniest part: I wasn’t nervous that whole day – until the moment right before I asked him. As we sat in those stands, my stomach jumped into my throat, my heart was racing, my brain fried. I somehow managed to push that all aside. I don’t know how.

I gave him an “engagement puck” I thought was a nice touch. I can still see the look on his face when I asked him. It didn’t take him more than fifteen seconds to say yes.

We’ve now been married just over 10 months, and have a lifetime ahead of us.

So why am I writing this? I guess for a few reasons. I wanted to share our story. It’s a special one, and I love the reaction I get everytime someone finds out I asked him. But I also wanted to put a little affirmation out there for any woman who’s thinking of asking her boyfriend, to say that YES, women can absolutely do the proposing! And of course, a nice reminder for all of us that every relationship is different and moves at its own pace, and unless you’re one of the people in the relationship, it’s really (quite frankly) none of your business.


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