Tag: inspiration

Posted in A Better You

It’s All About CTRL

Posted on by melissaburgess

One of the keys to happiness is this simple: taking control of your life and your path in life, to the best of your abilities. Know that you have power over your own life, and know that you can control what happens in your life. With this, you must also know that you can’t control others; you can only control yourself and how you react to situations.

If you’re not happy, figure out why. Figure out some small ways to change that, even if it’s something as simple as getting a haircut to make you feel better about your appearance, working out more often to blow off steam, or taking up a hobby like painting or writing. Not happy at your job? Look for a new one. Not happy in your relationship? You can’t control the other person, but you can control yourself. Either decide to make an effort to fix things, or decide to walk away.

In fact, adapt that attitude in all aspects of your life. If something is making you unhappy — or not making you happy — figure out why, and either decide to do what you can to change that, or walk away from it. Don’t let things hold you down in life.

Recognize your boundaries, and recognize what you can and cannot control. You can’t control other people or how they may act towards you, but you can control how you react to them. You can’t control whether or not you get the job, but you can control how you appear in an interview and how your resume and application materials look to the manager. You can’t control the traffic lights or the line at the coffee shop, but you can control what time you leave the house in the morning.

Life is all about having control over your life, and your life only. Once you start to adopt that style of thinking, you may find that you end up a lot happier.

Posted in A Better You

The Challenge: 100 Things That Make Me Happy

Posted on by melissaburgess

One of the projects I’m currently working on is compiling a list of 100 Things that Make Me Happy. The task is a bit more arduous than I had expected it to be, but in the long run, I think it’ll be worth it. I hope it will help me to appreciate my life a little more, appreciate both the bigger things and smaller aspects, and allow me to take a good look at my life, my choices and my journey, and it’ll be something I’ll be able to look at whenever I’m feeling down.

My challenge to anyone reading this is to do the same. Be forewarned, it may take a while. I’ve been working on my list for weeks and I’m not even 1/3 of the way done. But I think it will be worth it in the end.

Think of things that make you happy. People, places, vacations, experiences, books, things you do or things people say or places you go… anything that makes you happy. My list as it is so far includes everything from “the way the leaves change colors in autumn” to “getting paid from work” to “dying my hair a new color when I get bored with the old one.”

I’m not sure how long it will take me to get to 100, but it’s all about the positivity. Thinking about these things has already made me a happier person, bit by bit. Who knows, maybe I’ll end up going past 100, but that’s my starting point.

So go for it, readers. Make a list of 100 things that make you happy, and allow yourself to reflect on those things during the good times and the bad times. Get happy — you deserve it.

Posted in A Better You

“Live While You’re Alive”

Posted on by melissaburgess

I went to Toronto for the day yesterday and I was coming home, I saw a quote on a billboard just outside of the city. It really got me thinking and I’d like to share it with you.

“Live while you’re alive.”

Such a simple quote…. just four words and yet, if you think about it, it’s a great, powerful text.

How many of us don’t take advantage of all the opportunities we have in life? How many of us choose to play it safe rather than risk a little here or there? How many of us decide to stay at equilibrium rather than try something that put the scales off balance? How many of us are stuck in routines that we simply can’t escape from, no matter how hard we try? How many of us are living our lives day to day without ever trying anything different?

We are all alive. As long as we’re still breathing – and last I checked, I still was – we all have this beautiful life that we were given, and we should cherish that. Cherish it and USE it and take advantage of that. Don’t sit still, don’t wait for things, and don’t stop yourself from doing the things you want.

Live while you’re alive, as that quote says. Take risks. Try new things, go places, talk to new people. Don’t be afraid – and even if you are, go for it anyways. Look at things from a different perspective. Give someone a chance. Do something wild and crazy; do something you never thought you’d do. Try something NEW for the first time, even if you have no idea how it’s going to turn out. Dye your hair, buy yourself dinner, go out with friends, sleep an extra 15 minutes, try a new restaurant, go for a sport, or just do something outside of your every day routine & normal realm.

Just live, and enjoy life.

Posted in A Better You

The Importance of Defining Yourself

Posted on by melissaburgess

How many times in our lives are we defined based on things that are out of control? People define us based on our appearance or mannerisms, our hobbies or customs, or often, based on our relationships and connections with others.

How many times have you met someone and they’ve said “Oh, you’re so-and-so’s sister!” or “You’re her cousin, right?” or “You work with <<insert name here>>, don’t you?” or something along like those lines? And while those things may in fact be true, you may be a sister, a cousin, a fellow employee of…. someone, that’s not how you necessarily want to be defined or recognized.

It’s important that we define ourselves, to ourselves, before we try to define ourselves to others. It’s not easy; I doubt there are many people in the world who know exactly who they are in every single aspect of life, know exactly what they want in every area possible, and are 100 percent certain of every single thing. We’re all works in progress, but it’s important that we work on figuring ourselves out in the process. It’s a daily thing, taking a step at a time… figuring out who you are, what you like or don’t like, where your comfort levels lie and how they may change in different situations or with different people.

Here are some ways I could be defined y other people: I’m Jessica’s younger sister. I’m that girl who supports that specific hockey player that many people don’t necessarily like. I’m the one who writes this blog. I’m Tim’s cousin, so-and-so’s goddaughter, etc. etc. etc.

But I refuse to be defined by such small parameters. Who I am is so much bigger than anything anyone can define me as. Don’t let anyone put you in a box (metaphorically…. or physically, either, I suppose). I am not a box and there are more than four sides to me (yes, that’s a quote from Glee.) I discover new sides to myself all the time, discover I’m capable of things that I never dreamed about, and I grow a little bit every day.

I guess what I’m trying to say in the end is this. Don’t let anyone put you in a box or define you; don’t put yourself in a box, either. Don’t limit your opportunities or capabilities; you can do anything you want if you’re willing to put some work, time, etc. into it. It’s important to define yourself and not let others define you. YOU are in control of your life, and don’t you dare ever forget it.

Keep discovering yourself every day. You never know what you might find.

Posted in A Better You

“Why” vs. “Why Not”

Posted on by melissaburgess

All too often, it’s very easy for us to make excuses; to find reasons – no matter how small they may be – for us to get out of doing something. Whether it’s the age-old classic “I can’t” or the all-too-familiar “I just don’t have time,” or something perhaps a little more creative, we as human beings tend to be filled with doubt, and ask “Why should I do this?” I, however, would like to challenge you. Instead of asking why you should do something, start asking why not? Start asking yourself why SHOULDN’T you do something, and figure out what is holding you back from doing things. Then take steps to eliminate that way of thinking so you can expand your world and start doing new and exciting things.

Here’s a few examples where this new way of thinking might come in handy.

Situation #1: Meeting New People

Whether it’s messaging someone on Twitter or complimenting someone in public, it’s easy to be filled with doubt when it comes to approaching new people. “Why should I talk to them? What if they think I’m strange, or are rude to me, etc.” Instead of thinking like that, try this: Why shouldn’t you talk to them? You’re a good person, you’re friendly and fun and you have an energy unlike anyone else. What’s stopping you from talking to them? And what’s the worst that can happen – they tune you out or react in a rude manner toward you; so what if they do? You’ve lost nothing if the encounter goes sour, but if it goes well, you might just gain a new friend!

Situation #2: Trying A New Restaurant/Band/Event

“Well, I like this restaurant so much, why would I try a new one?” I’m certainly guilty of this way of thinking. Why stray from what you already know and are familiar with, your safety net? Why NOT? So you go to a different restaurant one week for dinner rather than going to your typical venue. You might find that you actually love it. Maybe you’ll discover a new dish, or a new friend – but you’ll never know unless you try it.

Situation #3: Fulfilling A Dream

Whether your dream is a trip to somewhere new or doing an activity you’d never normally dream of – why not go for it? Sure, it might take some planning. Maybe realistically you can’t spontaneously decide to go for it, but take the steps toward your goal.

My point is: stop doubting, stop questioning why you should do things and start thinking in the realm of “why not?” Whether it’s applying for a job (“why not me?”) or any of the aforementioned items or something completely different, just go for it. As the saying goes – if it’s important to you, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse. Stop looking for excuses and just go for it.