Category: Love, Marriage & Relationships

The Navigator’s Council & Beating 50 Percent

For those who aren’t familiar, Beating 50 Percent is a mission started by Jeremy and Audrey Roloff, inspiring couples to give more than 50 percent in their marriages. It’s about having an “above-average” marriage and honestly – I’m all for it. A lot of the mission and its readings are faith-based, which isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. But the basic principles are about giving more to your spouse, to your marriage.

As part of their mission, the Roloffs created the Navigator’s Council, a weekly journal for couples designed to foster communication, conversation, and commitment.

My husband and I just finished our seventh week using the Navigator’s Council. In a world where things can get crazy and schedules are chaotic, it’s nice to spend even one hour every Sunday together focusing on nothing but our journal. Every week, we answer the same six questions together. It’s a nice way of checking in with one another and setting aside specific time for conversations about what’s bringing us joy, what’s difficult in our lives, and what challenges or stressors we need to deal with together.

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by melissaburgess

The Biggest Risk I’ve Ever Taken….

Two years ago, I took the biggest risk of my life – and nothing has ever felt so right! In May 2015, I asked my then-boyfriend (now-husband) to marry me. It was awfully scary, but obviously – he said yes!

We’d been dating almost eight months. The way things were progressing, it felt right. We’d already talked about ‘forever,’ and we’d just signed a lease on our first apartment. Maybe part of it was that surreal, hopeful longing people in love have. But it felt right to me, so I went for it.

Relationships are all about what feels right for you and the other person involved. There’s no timeline I can point to that says “date for this long, engaged for this long, etc.”

Every relationship is unique, and it’s up to you & your partner to determine the course of action and what’s right for you and your journey together.

Just over seven months in, I knew I wanted to marry him. At some point, I thought about asking him… and then I thought, can I really do this? Hell, why should I have to wait for him to make the first move?

That’s part of why I’m writing this blog, two years later. When I thought of the idea, I asked around the Internet about it. Is it common/acceptable for a woman to ask a man? Today’s society is more modern and YES, it’s okay. But a lot of the relationship blogs I read were adamantly AGAINST a woman asking a man. They called it backward and said a man would feel emasculated. To hell with that. Any man who doesn’t support a strong woman making her own decisions and moves isn’t a man I’d want to marry anyway.

Continue reading “The Biggest Risk I’ve Ever Taken….”

by melissaburgess

Please, Don’t Ask People If They’re Expecting (Etc.)

When I first got married, I guess some part of me knew that the question would eventually come. I wasn’t sure when, or how, or who would ask it, but I knew, sooner or later, someone would ask if (or when) we were planning to have children. We did get a few questions right off the bat – literally, just days, maybe even hours, after the I-dos… “Are you guys thinking about kids?” “Do you guys want kids?”

I roll my eyes already. We’ve barely been married a few hours, or a few days, and already, the conversation has turned to our potential parenting at some point in the future.

I want to put it straight right here, before I go any further. It is absolutely, completely okay (and awesome) if people have children right after they get married, or soon after. It’s also awesome if they have children before they get married. It’s awesome if people choose to wait. It’s awesome if people choose to never have kids. It is completely up to the couple.

And that, my friends, is where we often run into a roadblock. Having a child is probably (I assume, since I’ve never done it) one of the most incredible things you can do. But it should be your decision — not anyone else’s.

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by melissaburgess

50 Reasons I’m Thankful For My Spouse Challenge

This week, clearly part of the American Thanksgiving Holiday, the wonderful folks over at Beating 50 posted this challenge:

“In light of thanksgiving, we wanted to invite you all to join us in making a list of 50 reasons why you are thankful for your husband or wife (or fiancé, boyfriend, girlfriend). Let’s thank our loved one for the little things and the big things! Thankfulness produces joy, and joy is what we want our marriages to be marked by! We hope that our lists of thanksgiving, inspire you to write and share your own with your spouse!”

This was my first Thanksgiving as a married woman, and really our first holiday as a married couple! (We got married in mid-July.) We’ve spent the last few Thanksgivings together, but there was something different about this one. Just knowing that we’re married and we’re really a family now, just made everything feel better, more connected.

So, Beating 50, I’ll take your challenge. Fifty reasons I’m thankful for my husband… here we go!

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by melissaburgess

What I’ve Learned In 2 Months of Marriage

This past Friday, my husband and I celebrated our two-month wedding anniversary. While two months may not seem a lot, especially in comparison to those who have been married five, 10, even 30 or more years…. it’s not meaningless, and it means a lot to us. The past two months have been an incredible start to our journey together!

With that being said, here’s a few things I’ve learned in our two months of marital bliss.

1. Communication is key.

I mean, obviously, this is the case in ANY relationship – platonic or romantic, professional or personal. If you aren’t communicating well, it’s going to be a struggle no matter what the level of your relationship is. But that’s definitely true when it comes to marriage. Communicating your thoughts, your wishes, your hopes for the future… all important to have a successful marriage, and probably something every couple can always work on improving! Your marriage is worth investing in – so do it!

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by melissaburgess